I am a mid-thirties, GTA Mom of two children, wife to husband Sean and I work professionally as an Urban Planner. Most of the things I enjoy in life revolve around my family, from crafting baby items, sewing baby decor, socializing with other Mommies, travelling with my family and simply hanging with my fam! My thoughts and life drivers have changed greatly over the past few years, hence the reason I'm here - to share them and hopefully help impact others lives while also trying to navigate my own in the process.
A bit more about me, before I get into the nitty gritty. I grew up in the West GTA in a loving, hard-working and adventurous family of four, taking my position as the baby, only 19 months younger than my Brother. We spent many wonderful family times at our cottage and travelling, even spending an extended period of time in Australia. I had a pretty good high school experience busy with volleyball and especially competitive cheerleading. I graduated and attended the University of Waterloo.
I worked in Toronto which later took me abroad. Spending 4 years away, I decided it was time to return to Canada and get on with my life having lived some wonderful experiences. Shortly after returning I met my now husband through an online dating website mid 2008. We've been busy simply living life since!
We were engaged in 2010 and married in 2011, shortly after being married and caring for my father who became terminally ill with stomach and esophageal cancer, my Dad passed away and we were also expecting our first baby. Stella Eve was born July 2012, a blond, blue-eyed, cherub like little darling. We spent 18 months as a family of 3, then were excited to be expecting our second baby! The excitement was halted when our world was turned upside down. On the morning of February 18, 2014, the day after family day, we woke to find our sweet Stella had passed away quietly earlier that morning at the age of 19 months and 1 day.
We shared our 7 week new, baby #2 news haphazardly while grieving the shock of losing Stella. I quickly returned to work and a few months later, we found our new home we had been searching for and decided to make the move - leaving many many wonderful memories and a few ginormous tragic ones. We took our Stella memories with us to our new home to create fresh ones with our expanding family. We were blessed with our rainbow baby Hudson James, born October 2014.
In Stella's memory and my way of remembering Stella and to cope with our loss, I wrote monthly updates reminiscent of my monthly baby development updates.The updates showed how much Stella grew and developed and to remind us of what went on in one months time and how we miss her. I would like to continue writing my thoughts as I'm told they have inspired some of you out there. My forced strength isn't something anyone ever imagines developing or having to use from your back pocket, where its kept.
With today being March 18th, 1 year and 1 month since Stella passed, I hereby post my first blog. There are many sad times I go through but many memorable times I would like to share with whoever will listen or to simply get them out of my own head. We have lots to look back on but a ton to look forward to while continuing to remember our baby girl.
Our Wedding Sept 2011
My Papa and I, 6 weeks before he passed
Enjoying our honeymoon
Stella is born!
Our family, Stella 15 mos
Stella's empty room and memorial flowers
Hudson is born!
Our family with Stella's place marker baby Stella doll
What I plan to doIt's been just over one year since Stella's passing and I have decided to transform my thoughts into this blog. I anticipate "Little Cotton Socks" blog to include:
- Past and future baby updates for both Stella and our son Hudson;
- My monthly Stella memorial updates;
- Some information on SUDC;
- What keeps me busy creatively;
- Fundraiser plans for Stella and SUDC, and;
- The daily and hourly ups and downs of my life.
After all is said and done, I am still a mid thirties Mom to two beautiful children, a wife, a hard worker, a crafter and a griever. Some say I am strong but I am doing what I have to do having being dealt a situation I never expected. I hope to help other grievers and parents who experienced the loss of a child while also helping myself by getting it on paper, remembering Stella and celebrating my family.
Bless their little cotton socks....