Saturday 24 December 2016

How I Handle the G-word at Christmas

Grief at Christmas. The big elephant in the room amongst friends and family at this time of year. It's generally a much harder time of year for grieving parents, me included. Any holiday tends to be difficult, as it is an enjoyable time with family and you imagine what it would be like if your child was in fact here enjoying it with you.

Stella's 1st Christmas

Wednesday 21 December 2016

I Admit It. I Am That Mom.

And I am unapologetic about it. We've all been in the situation where we feel like we've lost control of the health, wellness and needs of our children. I normally feel somewhat control over the situation but when I lose it, it becomes even a greater priority.

Stella's memorial bench at a local park

Wednesday 7 December 2016

Last Night Was My Breaking Point

It's like he has toddler-sense. He knows exactly when I'm feeling exhausted or defeated to act up. A double edged sword - I can't handle the behaviour, in turn it appears to be worse and I handle it different than I would if I had the energy to deal with it; and he acts up even more.

Things quickly get messy around here lately

Saturday 3 December 2016

I Wish I Had a Chubby Baby

I get very frustrated with the constant baby weight comments. No, I am not talking about the baby weight I have to lose, as I've got a lot of work to do still to feel more energetic and be at a healthy body weight. I'm talking about comments directed towards our sweet little babies themselves.
Our Sweet Girl, rolls and all

Thursday 1 December 2016

Who Said It's Not Supposed to Hurt?

Who is the person that actually started the rumour that breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt? I don't know very many people who didn't have any pain when they first started to breastfeed! 

Early days of my breastfeeding journey with Stella

Tuesday 29 November 2016

My Twin Pregnancy Story: The Longest 25 Minutes

Leading up to my first ultrasound, it wasn't until my doctor friend mentioned the chance of having twins, due to my heightened pregnancy symptoms, that I ever thought it would happen, despite twins being in my family. I had instantly felt pregnant, felt extra nauseous and tired. She could only laugh when I told her I was in fact expecting twins. 

We were stronger than ever before, we could and would handle it; whatever came our way, as we did before.

Wednesday 23 November 2016

It Was Here and Now It's Gone!

I'm referring to my thick full locks of hair, that is. I've hit that pivotal postpartum moment, head on. I am losing my hair, in a big way. And I'm one of the lucky ones, that started with a lot to begin with.

Tuesday 22 November 2016

Is This Your First Baby? Why This Is the Toughest Question.

Being my third maternity leave, I have encountered many strangers in my travels. I enjoy the slower pace of the grocery stores and malls, where I often spend a day running one simple errand. The trip to the grocery store can be my one outing for the day and my only interaction with adults aside from my husband. I enjoy the time chatting with those who come my way.

This announcement confused many. Are there 5 or 6 people in our family?

Friday 18 November 2016

Conrad: Baby Strawberries

Before having my twins I never knew what the red marks people often call a strawberry or raspberry birthmark were?

Conrad was born "mark free". It wasn't until a few weeks after birth the small flat red mark on his arm started to grow and raise from the skin.

Wednesday 16 November 2016

Stella: The Grief Clock

As I finally post numerous "draft" blog posts I had written through the first few months and year after Stella passed away, I am brought back to the time when my grief was counted by the number of months and time Stella was gone. Time hasn't miraculously stood still since then but my grief has evolved to the point where I do not naturally think of the exact amount of time since Stella left us. 

Monday 14 November 2016

More than Mom

Becoming a parent is something most of us plan and dream about. I have wanted it since I played house with my Cabbage Patch dolls. Transitioning to parenthood usually comes in stages.

Tuesday 8 November 2016

Conrad: Leaving the Master Bedroom Nest - My Top 5 Safe Sleep Tips

Against popular twin bedroom arrangements, we decided to separate our twins once they go into their cribs. We have the space and figure they will be together for a long time and will always have a special bond. Sleep is important to me, not only for my own health and sanity but for theirs. 

Conrad sleeping safe and sound in his crib

Thursday 3 November 2016

My Twins Birth Story: Walker & Conrad

We always knew twins were a possibility in our family as my Mom is a fraternal twin but we NEVER thought, or I never thought, it would actually happen! And it did, and boy did these twins rock our world and bring so many questions, worries, upset, amazement and joy to my pregnancy, delivery, family and world.

Conrad and Walker (photo by Julie Rock Photography)

Thursday 27 October 2016

Hudson: Big Boy Bed

Well it's happened. My rainbow baby is sleeping in a new room in his big boy bed as I write...without a breathing monitor.

Friday 21 October 2016