Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Well, That Was a GONG Show!

I was so excited to have Hudson home for his first week of "part time" daycare. Our plan was for him to go three times a week but with the uncertainty of Walker's health needs we decided we would start with one day home a week; hence the quotation marks.
 
I love having some one-on-one time with Hudson and had high expectations for our first day home together
I've had the three boys on my own for short periods of time and one outing to a good friends home. I decided we needed to tackle an outing because if Hudson got bored everything would go sideways. Little did I anticipate, well I thought it could but prayed it wouldn't, it would go sideways anyway!

Today was a total gong show.

I'm still learning this parenting thing as I go being my first child to surpass Stella's 19 months of age. Hudson was 2 early October and his age really showed this afternoon.
This is a really fun age but it also has a lot of challenges!
Hudson totally faked me out at a play date this morning. I should have been weary about it. While getting the three boys ready I got a glimpse of what was to come. I had several moments where I sat and shook my head in disbelief of his behaviour.

Here is the play by play account of today's events. It's nearly laughable now. I'm sure many Mom's can relate to my day.

While I tried to get everyone and thing together Hudson was pulling everything else apart around me. I dressed both babies in what I call real clothes; something that doesn't happen as often with this pregnancy. And low and behold Walker had a massive regurgitation. Children 1, Mom 0.

Being the "seasoned" mom that I am (wink wink) I don't always fuss over a little bit of spit up or in Walker's case a full feed. Being on our way out the door, I rolled with it and packed him up. Conrad was already in his car seat as he was getting tired so I buckled him in early, so we were two thirds of the way there. Mom 1, Children 1.
Physical activity is an important part of Hudson's normal day. I may not be able to go outside with him at the moment on Fridays but need to figure out some physical activity.

Hudson quickly started to be difficult with typical toddler issues; not wanting to put his boots on, hat on and simply get on our way. I decided to try an idea, tell him we were going without him and that quickly got him moving. Mom 2, Children 1.

The play date went off without a hitch. I transferred all of the kids from the car to the house easily and into the playroom (something as a twin Mom is a difficult task). Everyone remained happy. Hudson played so nicely with a 5 year old girl. Dolls, dress up and bags, he went along with it all. It gave me a look at how he would have played with his 4 year old sister Stella. He was quite silent (busy) and there was no whining at all from anyone. Was this day going to continue this way?? Mom 3, Children 1.

The babies enjoyed rolling around with three other 6 month olds, 2 of which are also twins. Conrad had a feed and sat playing with toys. Walker had much needed peer interaction and free time to hang out. The time passed quickly and all went fabulously right up to the pack up and transfer back to the car. Mom 4, Children 1.

I was feeling pretty good about myself at this point.

2 year olds are so much fun but the behaviour can change on a dime!
This is where the scoreboard changes. I gave Hudson his snacks on the way home hoping to fill part of his belly so we could have a quick lunch and off to nap. It was the exact opposite. I thought I continued to pull off Day 1 with Hudson as I was able to juggle feeding Walker and preparing Hudson's lunch simultaneously while Conrad was content playing. It was getting Hudson to eat that was the first tricky part. After giving him several chances at making the choice to eat or go for a nap, I managed to get 3 squares of grilled cheese sandwich down and he said he was done. Off to bed!? Mom 5, Children 1?

Today was reminiscent of the day I wrote that I was at my breaking point. Well that day was sunshine and rainbows compared to today.  Hudson decided to laugh like it was a game.  Negotiating with a 2 year old is pretty much non existent so I tend to leave him in his room when books, stories and "tricks" don't work.

Previously we have let him return downstairs to finish his lunch and he usually returns and goes to sleep. I tried it today but it didn't work like it does for Daddy. After several attempts to leave him be in his room and put him back in his bed I abandoned nap as Sean said he would deal with getting him to bed tonight. Bed tonight was nothing compared to the next hours I endured mothering my sweet little fella. Children now 3, Mom 5.

Keep expectations low and wipe the slate clean after a bad day - thoughts to remember for our Fridays.
The nice day I wanted to have with a drive in the afternoon turned into what probably sounded and looked like an episode of Jerry Springer the toddler version. Hudson's over exhaustion came out in Mommy directed aggression in the form of hitting. Where did my child learn to hit like this? I've seen him hit when he didn't get his way but this was something different. Hudson scored 3 points for this one as he got my waterworks going! I could feel it, I was becoming unhinged. I repeated to myself, "Pull it together Kristina!"

Hudson decided to play with the curtain rods we took down when we painted our house, waving them around the living room while I tried to get him to put them down and feed Conrad. Another point for Hudson. As you can see as the scoreboard started to weigh in the opposite direction, you can imagine my exhaustion setting in and emotions at am even higher point.
One of Hudson's activities while home, cleaning his potty, pantless.
I noticed a smell and asked Hudson if he did a poo poo. Nope. While continuing to feed Conrad I noticed a look on Walker's face and he had another large regurgitation so down went breastfeeding Conrad and I leaped to Walker's aid with bare breasts a flying. You must be able to only imagine this situation. Walker scored the kids another point.

At this same moment Hudson decided to take off his diaper which was in fact dirty! There was no convincing him to stop while holding Walker while he was dry heaving. Hudson then didn't want to let me put a clean diaper on him. I felt like a WWF wrestler pinning him down to change him. This is way easier for Sean with his big arms. 

I guess you see the pattern and I don't need to continue. I did try one last attempt at a time out in his room and he eventually calmed down and helped me with another bottle for Walker. I figured a task would put him in a better mood and it did. He happily played for a while with Conrad.

Bath time. Hudson loves Conrad so much - he really wears his heart on his sleeve
This technique is definitely one I need to try again. I also took his new toy away until he cleaned up the toys he left all over the house but that didn't work as well for him but since I wanted to follow through it made it even more difficult! Hudson has scored too many points by this time to count.

I realized quickly that although I thought I had the twin mama thing down and have got to know my twins quite well over the past six months I have not mastered the addition of a 2 year old with no nap.

I'm hoping to continue with the much anticipated Friday with Hudson but this worn, battered and feels like bruised mama needs to figure a few things out first.

I do know I need to be tougher. I can handle him better if I am rested and ready for it. But they always pick the times you are at your worst to act their worst.

For Hudson to sleep well he needs to eat well
Timing is everything. I must stick to his schedule to a tee. I started off by being about a half an hour late even though it tried to rush through lunch to make up for time.

I need to host early early morning playmates. This is key. Cut out the middle steps by having to leave the house and make life easier. There is too much energy and time required to leave the house. I really want to have adult interaction as I've been lacking interactions lately, so it's time for me to start hosting!

When all is said and done I don't like how things went today. Those 5 hours aged me more than 5 years. My back, hands, hips and heart aches for how things went.  I should have been better and know I can be better. My toolkit was empty and I was not prepared to handle the situation. I have learnt so much from the days events and hope to handle it better this coming Friday. Between caring for the twins, I hope to take some moments with Hudson to do some crafts and activities we don't normally do. I have now equipped myself with shaped sponges for painting, a matching game and a new colouring book. I will pull these out as needed and hope they direct his attention and energy into something positive, after his much needed nap.
Hudson crashed after our crazy day
I know that he won't remember the events of today but I plan to make things better for next time. I know it won't be perfect as it will only be week 2 but my expectations are low. I will quickly figure out if I keep to the schedule and he still behaves badly that I've got even more work on my hands but to start, a full lunch and a restful nap is ESSENTIAL! I also need to remember to be easier on myself. It's not easy being a Mom, we aren't perfect, we try our best but it doesn't always work out. I can make things better by staying positive, having grace and patience and wiping the slate clean after a bad day.

The single only great thing about today, yes, there actually was a glimmer of great in my day, was when Hudson was so exhausted and all he wanted was to cuddle up to mommy. Could this be after what happened today?  It made up for everything and put it all back into perspective again. Day by day, week by week, I will be tougher, I will stick to a much needed schedule and we ALL will enjoy our new Fridays together.

9 comments:

  1. Beautifully written, and entertaining for me to read, but can only imagine what you went through! You are one amazing mamma, and you doing more than a brilliant job juggling 3 babies. Love reading your blogs xxxx

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  2. The little guy is so lovely and adorable. He is just like a little angel and his innocence says it all. Nice to hear from you again and hopefully you will write more.

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