The last few months have
been very difficult for me. Any family with a new baby or dealing with health
issues of a family member can relate. I have been plugging along in this
marathon but since I recently had a moment to breathe, I realized everything we
are going through, as positive as I try to make the situation, is affecting me
and my relationships.
![]() |
Some of the items found around our house lately |
Relationships were
previously always high my list. It's inevitable that they will change. Not only
do you not have the time to maintain them, others don't always know how to
relate to what you are going through.
I have been very
fortunate to be dealing with relatively minor health issues compared to what
others go through. Each person’s situation will be the worst experience they go
through, despite it not necessarily being the loss of a child. My life could be
a lot worse. I learned to cope early on by realizing I should never compare others’
lives to my own.
![]() |
Some days we can stay home in our pjs all day and just be together |
It was an upsetting
realization that my once very involved friendships were continuing onwards
around me, somewhat without me. It wasn't the fault of anyone specifically or
someone intentionally not including me but it left me feeling very alone.
I have been so busy
attending a plethora of appointments including echo-cardiograms, ultra-sounds,
weigh-ins, osteopath and chiropractic adjustments, development assessments,
occupational therapy, hospital visits, nurse home visits and monthly RSV shots.
There is no energy for anything else except for caring for the basic needs of
my children and myself; being a rarity.
![]() |
Walker working with his Occupational Therapist |
I felt very upset not
being able to give what I normally do to my relationships, especially when
these important people have their own difficult or exciting times. I am not
able to retain information about others’ lives as my own life is at its
capacity. Unfortunately, this isn’t a trait of a good friend, sister, cousin or daughter.
![]() |
This little fella smiles make it all worth it! |
Celebrations of happy
times are happening around me and my involvement is dishearteningly after the
fact through social media. As a people pleaser, I've always hated missing out
on anything and would take all measures possible to take part and be included
and physically part of my loved ones lives.
I try to keep it all in
perspective and not let the constant health concerns overwhelm me. It's very
easy to let it keep you down, when you are already down. It is important for me
to deal with each matter separately, in order to concentrate and give it the
energy it needs.
![]() |
Bath time is a production line around here |
It’s easy to feel down
and confused as to why this is happening and blame the next experience on the
last. I want my children to grow up looking forward not back on the previous
hardships and not let it affect the future. There will be no crutches or reasons
to blame the past on the misfortunes of the future.
Resiliency is one of the
most important traits I want to teach my children. The ability to bounce back
and recover quickly in a situation will help them problem solve their way
through life.
![]() |
Hopefully they can help each other through the rough times |
I took it upon myself to
try and make it better. I must make the time as little as it might be, to find
small moments to think of and be part of their
lives. And if I can’t change the
situation, I learn to deal with the outcome which helps me feel better. I
reached out to several friends to catch up, make plans and even to send a
simple text message to let them know I am thinking of them or wondering how
they are managing. I realize I can't get out like I used to, so I invited
people to me - they simply needed an invitation.
Life and friendships
aren't one sided and I never want it to be all about what I am going through.
Until recently I didn't naturally have the time to make it about others. My
child and family are my first concern but when the opportunity arises where you
can make it about someone else, it feels amazing. It takes you away from what you
are going through and is not baby or health related; it’s something from my old
priority list.
![]() |
Getting three car seats across is a new priority! Bless my toddler Hudson's little cotton socks - sharing his bunnies. |
When the priority list
changes, as it will, and I need to stray away from my relationships again; this
blog may be my only outlet. I hope I can help others learn, cope and get
through what I have these past few years. If not, at least see a different
perspective on life and learn to do the best thing of all, live on. You are
allowed to and will.
Quite sad to see about the health issue your baby is facing but I am glad that you are still strong enough to bear all this. Many good wishes to you and to your family. Hope the baby gets well soon.
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